The Post Separation Abuse Wheel Gets A New Update
The Coercive Control of Post-Separation Abuse: A High-Conflict Divorce Coach Can Help
While the tactics may shift, the core of post-separation abuse remains the same: coercive control. It's a continuation of the domestic violence experienced during the relationship, morphing into a weapon wielded through the legal system and your children.
Every high-conflict custody battle is a battleground for the abuser's need for control, their thirst for victory, and a twisted desire to punish you. This relentless pursuit creates a pervasive sense of fear, impacting not just your life, but also the well-being of your children.
The fallout from post-separation abuse is devastating. It exposes children to Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), a term encompassing traumatic events like divorce, emotional abuse, and neglect. These experiences have long-lasting consequences, and the ACE Study (by the Center for Disease Control and Kaiser Permanente) should be a cornerstone for family court professionals to prioritize the best interests of children.
While resources exist for victims of domestic violence, navigating post-separation abuse often feels like venturing into uncharted territory. The family court system – judges, mediators, lawyers – becomes your sole lifeline. Here's where education is crucial. Those within the system need to recognize the manipulative tactics employed by abusers in high-conflict divorces and custody battles.
Here are some of the most common tactics used in post-separation abuse:
Counter-Parenting: Your abuser undermines your parenting decisions, imposing conflicting values to spite you. They may deny or withhold consent for essential needs like medical care, therapy, or extracurricular activities.
False Allegations of Alienation: They weaponize the discredited theory of "parental alienation" to deflect from their own abusive behavior. This tactic lacks scientific backing and is often used to silence your voice.
Neglectful or Abusive Parenting: They expose your children to unsafe situations or use intimidation, threats, and manipulation to gain control.
Isolation: They create false narratives and spread rumors to isolate you from friends, family, and support systems.
Harassment & Stalking: They bombard you with manipulative, threatening messages, and monitor your movements through social media or even physical stalking.
Legal Abuse: They disregard and manipulate court orders, weaponizing the legal system to drain you financially and emotionally. Custody becomes a tool for revenge and control, not for the best interests of your children.
Financial Abuse: They withhold, mismanage, or delay support payments, control your access to finances, and sabotage your career advancement.
How a High-Conflict Divorce Coach Can Help
A high-conflict divorce coach understands the complexities of post-separation abuse, particularly when dealing with a narcissist. They can equip you with the knowledge and strategies to navigate the family court system effectively, protecting yourself and your children:
Develop a safety plan: This plan outlines steps to minimize contact with your abuser and ensure your physical and emotional safety, including your children's.
Document abuse: Meticulously document every instance of abuse, providing a clear picture of the situation for the court.
Communication strategies: Learn effective communication techniques to limit unnecessary interaction with your abuser while ensuring clear and documented communication regarding your children.
Empowerment: Your coach will empower you to advocate for yourself and your children, fostering resilience and emotional well-being throughout this challenging process.
Remember, you are not alone. With the right support and guidance, you can navigate the complexities of post-separation abuse and protect yourself and your children during a divorce and custody battle with a narcissist.
(Post Separation Abuse Wheel Provided By OMB)
