Trapped in a Triangle: How Abusers Isolate Victims with Triangulation

Imagine being caught in a tug-of-war, not between two people, but three. This is the manipulative tactic abusers use called triangulation and it's aimed at isolating and controlling their victims. 

Triangulation involves bringing a third person into the dynamic of an abusive relationship. This person could be a friend, family member, colleague, or even a pet. The abuser strategically pits the victim against this third person, creating a web of confusion, insecurity, and ultimately, isolation.

Here's how abusers use triangulation to isolate their victims:

1. Pitting them against others: The abuser might badmouth the third person to the victim, painting them as untrustworthy, jealous, or a bad influence. This can create conflict and sow seeds of doubt in the victim's mind.

2. Creating competition: The abuser might compare the victim to the third person, highlighting perceived flaws or making them feel inferior. This can trigger feelings of insecurity and a desperate need to win the abuser's approval.

3. Gossiping and manipulating: The abuser might share distorted information about the victim with the third person, creating misunderstandings and fueling conflict. This isolates the victim further and makes them question their own perceptions.

4. Limiting contact: The abuser might discourage the victim from spending time with the third person, making excuses or even resorting to threats or emotional manipulation. This further restricts the victim's support system.

The impact of triangulation is devastating:

Isolation: The victim feels increasingly alone and disconnected from their support network, making them more reliant on the abuser.

Confusion: The constant manipulation and conflicting narratives create a sense of confusion and self-doubt in the victim.

Guilt and shame: The victim might feel blamed for the conflict between the abuser and the third person, leading to feelings of guilt and shame.

Reduced self-esteem: The constant comparisons and negativity can chip away at the victim's self-esteem, making them feel worthless and unlovable.

How victims of Narcissistic Triangulation Abuse can protect themselves.

Establish boundaries with the narcissist including avoiding one-on-one situations, ignore baiting comments, keeping personal information private, and always having a trusted support system present.

Talking to a therapist or counselor can help you understand the dynamics of abuse and develop healthy coping mechanisms.

Collaborating with a high conflict divorce coach who truly understands the destructive toxicity of abusive behaviors can be life-changing. They will not only guide you in establishing firm boundaries and managing your expectations, but also empower you to effectively communicate with the narcissist using techniques like the gray rock method.

These invaluable tools will not only shield your emotional well-being, but also ensure the safety of your precious children from the insidious covert abuse that often accompanies such toxic relationships. With the support and guidance of a skilled coach, you can begin to reclaim your power and protect your family from further harm.

Please reach out and schedule your consultation today.

-Ally